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It all started when…

La Negrita 



Here I am
Everything I shouldn’t  be
A woman, 
A mother
Black skin
you see
I was never told that I  could be a queen
I was taught to a woman
You know the kind that does this and that
Folding clothes and ironing hats
……Fucking hats
     Don't you know?!?! 
Girls cant say no
Girls cant touch dirty….
Not unless is to scrub it off his shoes
Don't, you know??
That you just cant say no?
You’re no person
Rights scraped off the walls of  your flesh
Eres una bebe
You belong to everyone but yourself
And then, oh man
Color color color
Blanquita no soy
We love you anyway, negra
Mi negrita linda
Eres tan linda
…para ser una negrita.
And I looked around
To see if I found..but most people looked like me
………..Ai si
We didn’t look like the novela stars
With blue eyes and blonde hair
Not you, not me. 
Because: Color
The color wasn’t right
Spanish doesn’t come from lips like that
And I couldn’t smile
Not at night because they would laugh
Ja ja ja
Your teeth is all I can see
Poor me poor me
And I would pick the white doll too
The one with the good hair?
La muñeca linda
La muñeca blanca
The brown crayons
Lay there, 
Nadie los usaba. 
And why would they?
Why would we
El negro si es sucio cant you see? they said
And I believed. 
That  I believed
The voices outside became me.
………….to be continued